Right.

So that was a pretty huge failure.

My heart isn't happy so my body can't be either. It's a bit of a catch 22, no? I'm going to try again.

Day one. Ugh. Cleanse.

Liquid Diet: Day 16

I thought I would cheat a bit and only drink liquids today. I almost made it, too! Around 8pm I thought... maybe just a little something... so I had steamed broccoli. THEN I was helping out at work and they had Ding Dong's lying about, all willy nilly. I went for it.

Ps. This is my goal weight... or look, I should say since I haven't weighed myself.

Day 15

Diet was great until I had a snack ATTACK at midnight and ate a slice of chocolate cake. teeheehee.
Exercise was minimal....

Game On! Day 14

I quite possibly flushed the two weeks progress down the toilet with this weekend's debauchery, but it was well worth it! A million cheeseburgers, cigarettes, whiskey and kisses. Heaven.

Mental Health: Positive, productive day cleaning. I'm working to make my room more inviting.
Diet: Great. Went to the sto'.
Exercise: Jackie Warner is the SHIT! Constant motion. You NEVER stop. And the dvd is set up so that you can work on one area for twenty minutes or the entire body for an hour. Love it.
Bad Stuff: Zero

Day 10

Mental Health: Good
Diet: Good
Exercise: Zero
Alcohol, Cigs and Facebook stalking: zero

Got a new work-out video from Jackie on Bravo. I'll let you know how it goes.

Bellytimber: Day 9

I have some good news... and I have some bad news.

The good news is that I woke up at 7am to jog. First, that's super fucking early. Second, I jogged further still. I'm so proud of myself.

The bad news is that I smoked two cigarettes and had two drinks. I have no excuse. The girls were all together at Razzles and I wanted to.

Reset time... My goal was to stay sober for two weeks. Until Sara's birthday on the 12th. Womp womp.

Day 8

I was all ready for a nice little jog when me and the boys started talking about movies... and then they started to talk about scary movies. I scare easily. I jog at night. So I quickly put away my running shoes.

Everything: Okay.

Ps. I finally have my very own internet now!! So I will be a better blogger.

Bleh: Day 7

I'm losing steam!

Mental Health: Good. I'm falling in love with Jane Austen
Diet: Okay*
Exercise: my thighs hurt!... I took a day off. I rode my bike and walked maybe two miles. Big whoop.
Alcohol: Zero
Cigs: Zero
Soda: One sip. I folded, but it's okay. Just one sip.
Facebook: Zero

Okay, so I joined an internet dating site. Zoosk. I'll tell you how it goes.

*Diet: Banana for breakfast, salad for lunch, shit for dinner. Starlite is killing me!

Fail: Day 6

Oops...

-Mental Health: Okay. Had a little break-down over my face. My chin is going nuts... making a derm appt soon.
-Diet: Shit. Bacon, egg and cheese for breakfast, pancake for lunch, half a turkey sub for dinner, nutty bar AND like, five freshly baked cookies. Yeah. I figured that since I had broken my diet... I might as well GO FOR IT.
-Exercise: Not enough for what I ate. But, I'm super stoked to say that I ran twice as far as my first run! Pushing myself feels amazing. And with mapmyrun.com I'll let you know how far I'm actually going.
-Alcohol: Zero
-Cigs: Zero
-Facebook Lurk: Zero

Guess Jeans: Day 5

I put on my vintage Guess jeans that I had on just last week. Noticed a difference! My muffin top wasn't so blatant and I felt like I wasn't squeezed in!

Mental Health: Good. Still reading Pride and Prejudice. Layed out.
Diet: Okay*
Exercise: Fair. I only walked home from work. (30 min walk)
Alcohol: Zero
Cigs: Zero
Facebook Lurking: Zero

Diet: Breakfast: bowl of cereal with 1% milk, OJ, no snack and half a turkey sub for dinner. Not so good.

Pwned: Day 4

Thank you, Amber, I joined Calorie Count yesterday. With my exercise and calorie intake, it looks like I'm on the right track. Honestly anything is an improvement.

Upon entering my information they told me thus: Your current Body Mass Index (BMI) is 23.8, which means you are at a healthy weight. A healthy BMI for your gender and age is between 18.5 and 24.9 and a reasonable weight loss or gain rate is 1-2 pounds a week.

Healthy weight. But way borderline. Not a zone I'm comfortable with. And by the way, this is the reason for these changes. I'm not comfortable. Nor do I feel good. I can't believe the shift in attitude and energy already. But my thighs are still rubbing together. Can't handle.

Tonight I was babysitting one of my favorite little guys. Kids are so funny and brutally honest... he asked me (after looking me up and down), 'why are some people's legs so fat'? Buuurrrrrrn. And you'll see me jogging past your house tomorrow morning or night.

Day four I can feel (and see) the water weight or that puffiness I was feeling is gone. I'm assuming all the alcohol has left my system. Um... what do sober people do for fun? No really.

Also, my plan is to stay sober until the 12th. I feel confident as FUCK that I can do this. I'm committed and somehow... really positive about all this. The 12th is Sara's birthday. I'm setting realistic goals for myself. Then I'm back on the wagon until my beach trip with my bestie's! After that I'll just play it by ear. Listen to my body (hopefully sexy little body).

Mental Health: Good. Mad I didn't get up until 11:30 again. I stayed up watching Big Love really late. Season 3 gets intense! Lots of reading and time in the sun.
Diet: Good*
Exercise: Good. An hour of yoga, bike ride and strength training for my arms.
Alcohol: Zero
Cigs: Zero
Facebook Stalking: Zero

*oatmeal for breakfast, oj and a quarter of a sandwich for snack, half turkey sub for lunch, carrots for snack, 1 oreo, 1 snack pack and two crackers. (I was cleaning out a pantry. I couldn't resist)

Razzed: Day 3

Mental Health: So-so. I slept in today and didn't even get out of bed until 11:30am. I hate that. I've been working so hard to get up and accomplish little goals around the house.
Diet: Good*
Exercise: Fair - I watched my yoga dvd and made notes, then did stretching and strength building while watching Big Love (season 3 is the shiiiiit). And a bike ride to and from work.
Alcohol: Zero
Cigs: Zero
Soda: Zero
Facebook: Fail. Curiosity always kills this cat.

*Diet: I'm eating small meals throughout the day. No worries. But this morning I didn't start eating until noon. Banana, OJ, one egg, spinach salad and a quarter of a turkey sandwich. I had one mozzarella stick at work and felt so bad about it I was going to jog eight miles when I got home... don't ya know it started raining!

Nameste: Day 2

I feel pretty positive about today.

Mental Health: Good - stayed very busy cleaning my room and doing laundry. A neat living quarters makes for neat brains.
Diet: Good?* Almost great.
Exercise: Very Good - An hour of beginners yoga this morning and a bike ride to and from work (4 miles?).
Alcohol: Zero
Cigs: Zero
Soda: Zero (Though so tempted. Darn guns at work make it so easy)
Facebook Stalking: Zero

*For breakfast I had one packet of instant oatmeal and half a glass of OJ, one teaspoon of peanut butter for snack and a large spinach salad with grilled chicken (with ranch and cheese. Bad!... and a little bread. I'm only human!). Work is the hardest. I knew it would be. Junk food is so accessible. But I kept the munching to a minimum. I reached for carrots and cucs most, but I did sneak two fries, one chip, a tablespoon of chocolate ice cream and one oreo.


So here's my question. I have no idea how many calories this is! Believe it or not, my diet has improved ten fold already. I literally ate cookies for breakfast, lunch and burgers for dinner. So what's your guess? Am I burning enough calories to lose weight?

June 1. Day 1.

My first day! Not bad.

Thank you guys so much for your comments and offered help. It feels so wonderful to know I have such amazing friends. I already feel so positive and motivated. I can't let you all down!

Mental Health: Great (Long day with my girls.)
Diet: Fair*
Exercise: Good (walked a mile, ran maybe half mile. good starter I think.)
Alcohol: Zero
Cigarettes: Zero
Soda: Zero
Facebook stalking: Zero (it was becoming unhealthy)

I took my before photos today. It hurt. It really did. Pretty sure I'm going to re-take them.... brb.

*Diet: Didn't eat until noon and that was a chocolate oat cookie thing at Lamp Lighter (I know, I know), I had two of Mary's nachos at the movie, and dinner at Stronghill which was only half a spinach salad and two bites of a fried something. Not healthy in the least, but at least I didn't consume too many calories? Eh... I'll be better tomorrow. I went to the grocery sto'.

get your mind right

Thanks for your interest friends.